I hate needing, feeling helpless, dependent. I must rather suck it up and just get it done myself. Push through. Work harder. (Of course this does not count my amazingly supportive husband. I seem to have no problem asking him.)
I hate asking for help, especially when those closest to you turn you down. When you feel like you (and your husband that works mighty too hard for our family and others) are on your last leg and others don't want to do anything that may inconvenience them. I pretend that it doesn't pierce my soul. That I'm not shocked. And I try not to ask again. Don't want to be rejected.
But then it begs to be asked: How many times do I offer to help others when it's an inconvenience to me? Sure they may not have asked....but does it matter....does it really mean that they don't need something! Most of the time I just pushing through my own stuff that I don't even see it. But I need to see it. I need to help. Lord, help me see. Help me to want to help. Help me not to be afraid about how it will make my own life harder. Help me to see how doing what you have called me to is The Most IMPORTANT thing. And, please, give me the strength to do it...especially at this time.