Family swim time!

How fun is water play, but we really don't get much of it.  As it is, having such a little one makes it hard for me to do a lot of things.  So being able to swim at the Radd resort (as I like to call it) was a nice treat with all the extra hands. 

 Weather awesome, perfect temp of water and many smiles. Although Zoe is really not into pictures theses days, "No pictures," she commands if she sees me with my camera.

 The babes weren't really awake at the same time, so no pic opts there....but we manged to catch many other good ones.  This was Shiloh's first time in the water....this was also Zoe's first time in the water two years prior with the same bathing suit...how fun!

Baby Ady loved the water too!

 

 

 

Aunt Lauren is always up for games.

One of my favs!

Chilling on the raft.

 

Sweet, sweet sisters.....I could just eat them up!

So could Lauren....this baby loves some kisses!  Makes her smile every time!

So dramatic...

Shiloh wanted to put her face in the water....I think she liked it.

I mean really, this kid....I just couldn't get rid of any of theses pics, how I adore her!

And her cute hand-me-down hat!

Those eyes will get you!

All this work can really tire a girl out!

So fun, so blessed, so loved!

The Greats and being with Radd

Our trip started with a stay at my Dad's mom and sister's homes.  They are the hostest with the mostest and so accommodating.  What a blessing to have a space to stay.  Zoe even got her "own room" as the room I stayed in has a large enough closest to put her pack-in-play in.  This made nap time a lot easier!

 

It was special getting to see my Grammy with Shiloh and Adalyn.  Luckily no blowouts for her (although my sister was not so fortunate at one point!).  

 
 

My Grammy always has something for us. Whether a special treat on our pillow or something bigger.  It was so exciting as a little kid to go in the room where we would stay to see what was waiting for us!

Zoe was blessed with a little Precious Moments doll (something my Grammy is also a fan of!) that she enjoyed. 

Amazing food is also ALWAYS had.  Theses ladies can cook let me tell you!  I still am not able to eat diary and am on this detox eating for awhile....so I really had to use my will power, but this home made pound cake was calling my name (the only main time I cheated....and I was still able to loose weight on the trip  :-)

One morning when I was working out in another room, Zoe was eating breakfast with the family and when I came in she was almost done.  She had the cutest, guilty, excited chocolate covered face.  (I'm not sure if she has ever even had such before).  She got to enjoy a special pancake from Uncle Walt (thanks for snapping the pic sis) without any objections of sugar for breakfast from her momma.  I'm kinnda glad I wasn't around so she could enjoy this special treat.  

Every girl should have somewhere pretty to potty....This was Zoe's fav. spot to do so.  This was the first place away from home that she was able to use the potty with out any issues!  Yes!  Can you believe that my sister, Lauren, painted this mural for my Grammy a few years back.  Yep, she is amazing!

My uncle came to visit too!  In seeing Zoe he noted that he didn't need to take any pictures of her, because he had so many from when I was young and she looks just like me at that age. :-)  Love theses faces!

My cousin, Jennifer, has had her first couple of kids around the same time as me.  Oh, how I wish that we lived closer so that we could do more with them all together.  At least we got to see each other a couple of times while we were there. 

This kid is sooo cute.  His eye lashes and fohawk are just adorable!

Second cousins meeting again (it's been since Christmas....so pretty sure they don't remember each other).

 

It didn't take long for Zoe to show her favorite toys (a plastic hamburger and egg).  She is soooo funny how she loves these things....I mean we take them everywhere and she HAS to have them to sleep with and everything.  

Sweet baby April...Just over a month old (or so).  The newest member of the clan!

 The three littles lined up and ready to go!

Momma's jump in too!

 

How about some fun with the IPhone? Franky and me (excuse my HUGE goofy smile that just can't get any bigger!). 

 Beautiful Jenni hopped in this one too!

 Zoe not to be left out.  

 I have no idea why my sis is making this face....she is so funny....had to include it!

A 3 generations shot.

The kids provided us with much entertainment and dancing later that evening, which lead to much laughter for all!  How I love them! 

Some pictures of us handing around....

Shiloh chilling in her PJs

GG with her two new greatgrands....Shiloh is also modeling the outfit GG gave her. 

My cuz, Rebbecca with Shiloh!  I hate that I didn't get any picture of Zoe with her.  They had a blast together and Zoe still talks about it!

My mom trying to convince Zoe that this would be a fun pic opt.  Zoe didn't buy it, she is soooo not into taking pictures now  :-(

One last kiss from GG before we have to say Goodbye!  Nothing sweeter!  

Many miles, screaming babies and lots of love

Almost all of my extended family live in Florida (Tampa Bay area)....and the only way that I get to see them is if we make the drive down there.  So for years we have spent our vacations traveling the many miles to such a destination.  How special my family is that the few days we get to spend together is just never enough.  How much I wish we were closer so that they could see more of the joy of my growing babes and family, experience our changing lives and I theirs.  I am thankful that we do still get to see them even if if the time is short, it truly is sweet.

But I hate packing.  Make that I abhor packing with two young ones.  Do they really need all that STUFF???  I try to get by with as little as I can but, let's be honest, it barely fits in the car.  Hours and hours worth of packing and preparing....but yet did I forget something?  Always. I wish my hubby could have come along, but, alas he had to work and he promised he would get a lot of needed things done around the house while we were gone (score!- yep he is amazing).

 I was really nervous about the drive.  This has not been a strong suit of Zoe's in the past and every trip before I have thought, "I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!"  It doesn't seem to matter what time we leave, what I bring, what I try to do, the result is often the same.  Screaming, crying, red faces, struggling to get out of her seat.  I hate to see her in so much pain, so upset, not be able to do anything about it and knowing that the end is still hours away.  Now this trip, multiple that by two, as Shiloh is here for the ride.  Surely the screaming will wake each other up, how I was dreading it.

But there was a miracle!  At least on the way down.  Zoe is now old enough to truly appreciate how DVD's can put you in the zone and make everything better (esp. since she rarely gets to watch them).  And Shiloh only cried a couple of times, we she got hungry and we were able to then stop and feed her.  This really was a blessing from the Lord!

We loved visiting the family.  At one point, when Zoe ran to give my elderly grandmother a kiss, I couldn't help to let the peace in my heart say, "It is all worth it, even just for this moment."  I tried to soak in such times between nursing and naps, always present that theses times many never be able to be repeated.  Working where I do, with clients so desperate for a genuine love and a trusting family unit, makes me realize how truly blessed I am and I need not forget it and take it for granted.

Zoe made her presence known where ever she was at.  She is such a joy and full of life.

Shiloh and Adalyn got to meet all the family members.  My amazing sister and her precious new one was there, too.  Between us we got some amazing pictures (ok, really.....she got most of them, she is a great photographer).  So much so that I need to spread out the love in some upcoming post!

We got fully funded...Big exhale!

What a growing, learning, stretching process this Kickstarter campaign has been.  We got off to an okay start but then as the process went on it looked like we weren't going to make it.  We still needed around 5K, and at the rate we were going that was sure not to happen.  It was discouraging.  We put a lot into it, had a party for it as following God's leading on what we were supposed to be doing.  

Working on the whole submission process....hard for this control freak who thinks her way is always the best and most logical.  But in truth the world does not spin in such a way, at least not in the faith, Godly world that I want to live in.  If things are always logical then it is harder to see God in it (and I get puffed up with pride at looking at what my own efforts have accomplished).  No, God wants us to see how He is perfect in our weakness...and that He is.

So I totally get that all "our" money is His anyways, so no doubt that if He wants to provide us with funds than it will happen, the creator of the universe that is bigger than my mind can comprehend can certainty put some paper in our hands through others to help accomplish what He has made us to do.  But is it something that He wants for us, or is He wanting to just teach us something completely different?  I had no idea but just tried to hold on to His sovereignty that I knew was solid.

Towards the end my sister asked if she could come and pray for us.  She has such an amazing spirit that is connected to His in ways that I hope to be as well someday.  So yes, more prayer is good, so she came and we did.  There was only about a week left before the deadline and if we didn't make it we wouldn't get any of the money we had raised.

But it started to happen....and happen it did and then even beyond goal a bit.  Blown away.  Blown away is all I can say.  I am touched and humbled by some of the huge supports our friends and even strangers have been.  Surprised by generosity beyond anything I can understand.  And encouraged to want to turn around and also give to others in need.  Now to get to work fulfilling the rewards and getting the kiosk open!  :-)

Zoe your so ________! What's your blank say about you?

Zoe loves fill in the blanks.  That is, she likes it when I start a sentence and she can fill in the answer.  Clearly there are things that I say over and over to a two year old that her good little memory can easily spring up.  This little "game" of ours has seemed to help her, as she used to ask me the same question over and over again, even when she knew the answer.  It seems to be that if she answers it then there is no need to keep asking. 

My little one is really cute.  And I tell her so all the time.  I mean with the faces she makes, the sining, clothes, hair accessories comments, I just can't help it!  So one of our sayings quickly became me exclaiming, "Zoe your so..."  "Cute," she would reply (it is so adorable how she even says it!).

Then I got to thinking.  Do I really want my child to just think of herself as cute.....hummm, no, she is so much more.  A smart one for sure.  So I began to say that, too.  "Zoe your so ______ and _____!" And of corse she would always provide the new answers "Cute" and "Smart".  There that's better (now she won't just think looks are all that is important) or was it.

I thought about more as time went on.  Identity is such a HUGE issue for all of us and it starts young.  What do I want my girls to think of about themselves, to value.  I certainty don't want them to put their weight in their looks and struggle so like their mommy did when she grew up, never feeling pretty enough (I remember always just wondering/wishing/praying that I could just look AVERAGE.  That's not asking for much.  I didn't have to be beautiful but could I just be average... certainty I thought that would make me feel better about myself).  

Nor do I want them to put all of their hope in their mental capabilities and struggle as their father did with school (he has had to always battle the feeling of not being able to do things - esp. in the academic department - which has held him back from many things).

So OK, I know I don't want theses things....so what does that leave me with explaining to a two year old.  Well, there has been one thing I am learning more and more about lately...How much I am loved.  I know I'm loved by my family, no doubt about that, but honestly there is no guarantee that I will always have them (and really just the guarantee that I won't, as death waits for no one when it is time).  But I am LOVED so deeply by my heavenly father.  And He is showing me more and more how much and deep this is truly is.  And THAT is where I can be secure.  That He will always be there for me, that He sees me as beautiful, that he will grant me wisdom when I ask and that he is my source of joy. 

That, that is what I want my girls to know.  In a way that permeates their soul to the deepest darkest parts of today and tomorrows struggles.  That they are LOVED!  So now, that is what I focus on with my little one with our fill in the blanks.  That is not to say that I don't tell her she is cute and smart but that my focus is on how she is LOVED!  May they (and I) begin to grasp such at even this early age!

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be FILLED to the measure of all the FULLNESS OF GOD." 

-Ephesians 3:17-19