BEACH FUN!!!

So I was excited about Zoe's first trip to the beach as it had been planned weeks in advance. I was looking forward to it because there were many other couples from our church going and I was excited about some time with them as well....

Then came the packing.....that of which I hate.

By the time it was time to go that night I just wanted to give up. The last time I went somewhere I tried to pack light and ended up really missing a lot of things. So this time I knew that I just needed to try to be as prepared that was reasonable but still didn't want to bring my whole house for this small little baby.

We all managed to fit in the car and it wasn't long upon getting there that I discovered many things that we should have brought. Luckily, we were there with many other families, with babies, so I could use some of their stuff, otherwise I just don't see how it is even possible for one to make such a trip.

Zoe hated the water (and naps -most of the time-at least inside- and her pack and play and being away from her home) but it made for some fun pictures. All this to say that it meant much holding time for mom and dad. It seemed that that was the only way that she appeared at peace (most of the time).

My amazing husband was also such a support to me......another thing I couldn't do a trip without him! He was there to help with whatever we

to need to be able to get off for the day and throughout the day. It made all the other

things actually doable.

It was such a fun time getting to be with theses amazing couples, to enjoy much time under the tent just relaxing, to take a walk with our growing family and take some fun pictures.

So we had to get some "formal" beach pics and because this was at a point in my packing that I was beyond stressed.....we opted for the cheesy white shirts and jeans. (I thought if everyone has done it, there must be a reason,

right?) Although I wish I had had time/energy/creativity to do anything else, the good thing is we will have family pictures!

More formal pictures to come.....I hope this is something that we can continue to do through the years as we build more memories together. After all what can be better than being at the beach with my own Beach!

P.S. I have no idea how this picture things work and it took me forever to post this just because I was trying to figure it out...sort of got part of it.

BIRTHday

BIRTHday has a different meaning after giving birth myself.  Makes me much more appreciative of all my mom did for me and what that day meant to her when she first became a mother those 32 years ago.  So thankful for this new perspective.  

Hope I can keep the focus more off of me and more on what truly matters!

3 hours

So I now think of my life in increments of every three hours, as that is the amount of time that Zoe needs to eat or I need to pump (if I'm not with her)....which usually leaves me a little over a couple of hours to try to get something done. It's amazing how that time goes by soooo quickly!

How some of the things that I used to be able to do will not fit in that time slot (i.e. workout a couple of hours and take a shower) and how quickly my body reminds me when those three hours are up.

There have been so many times when I'm running around with her trying to get errands done and I fear the milk alarm (her screaming) will go off. I've never kept such a close eye on the clock. Faster, faster, faster... not fun when my mind seems to have lost itself at the last stop.

So all this pumped milk has taken over our freezer, much to Beach's delight, I'm sure (His response most night: "What do you want for dinner?" Open freezer, "Oh yeah, all we have is breast milk."). Still need to find a better way to organize. For awhile the milk bags would just fall on me and, amazingly enough, hurt my feet with then would land on them in all their frozen glory. For now they are just stuffed in grocery bags by date, very appealing and lovely; need to find a better way!

It completely amazes me how God has created our bodies to provide for our young in such a way. How my view has developed as I once dreaded it when Zoe was young and wanted to nurse nonstop in quit an uncomfortable way to looking forward to our nap nursing in the afternoons when I get off work. What a gift to be able to give to my growing girl and what a gift she is to me!

Breakfast anyone?

Ok, can I just say what an amazing servant husband I have. Every morning pretty much since we have been married, Beach gets up and makes me breakfast, usually containing an amazing omelet. Since our huge espresso machine came into our life....my breakfast is also graced with a latte! He is just the best at making both of theses. It doesn't matter if he has to get up or not, if it means him getting up a lot earlier than me or what we did the night before, his servant heart prevails to the joy of my stomach! Really who needs Starbucks when I have the best barista living with me!

Now the daily latte is lactose free or made with soy/almond/or whatever alternative milk product I can find on sale and the omelet graced with goat cheese. So amazing that I don't even mind waking up having such to look forward to! What a blessing!

Emotions

Ok....for the record I started this almost a month ago.....working on getting things up sooner!

So creating this other being has changed so many parts of me.

For example, I'm finally going back to teaching at they gym (which means that I can bring Zoe into the childcare there - I couldn't have afforded it otherwise)....Deep breath (why I still get so scared about teaching is beyond me). So I had already talked to them at the childcare placement, which I had heard many good things about, so I thought I was good to go. Drooped her off, she gave me that huge toothless grin and with much assurance from the staff I was off.

I thought I was doing well, until I walked out of the door and a huge wave of emotion came over me. What was this? Why did I feel like bursting into tears, wasn't I just fine a second ago? I had no idea that such feelings were to come over me! Yet another thing in my body/life that has changed....

The same thing happened when I packed up her newborn clothes. It's not like she isn't still tiny but every time I would come to a another outfit that would no longer fit her....the tears began again....alas, needless to say, it was a long packing up process. Completely unexpected!

Is there a way to know when these emotions are to come on? Like a huge warning button that would let me know to be prepared or perhaps it's not the best time to do something. I feel powerless at times. All that I do know is that Zoe is so worth it! This huge emotional roller coaster I've hopped on....I'm hanging on.... so let's go!

Blogging

For a long time I didn't get blogs....why would anyone want to write for fun (perhaps this thought came from the fact that I HAD to write so much for school and work)? Who would want to read them anyways (again to much school). However, upon finding myself having to sit still for hours within a day everyday to nurse my newborn, I came across some of my friend's bogs. Through laughter, smiles, and tears I was then hooked and excited to read new entries.

I personally narrate things in my head often, as if someone could read them, and have for quite sometime. I even do this with my FB statuses (as silly as it sounds) and then never post them (for I already did so in my head). Then I thought due to my inability to remember much long term ( I have no idea what is wrong with me and I hate it!) I thought perhaps blogging was something that I needed to do to help me remember all that has gone on. I know that I'm not as funny, as good of a writer, or have that much of an exiting life that anyone would ever want to read my blog. But then I figured out that none of that matters, its for me, for me and my family. A way to leave and remember pieces of me. So, thus it began.

The name Zoe means life (more on the extended name later). So this blog is about Loving life and our journey along the way!