The In Between

I try to dwell on the joyous moments; the ones that make my heart soar and that I want to remember.  Thus, my monthly highlight posts.  In looking over them recently, I realized that there is so much in-between that cannot be seen, that in someways I don't want to forget them either.  It certainly is not all puppy dogs and unicorns over here (or at all).

My health has been steadily improving.  Previously, I used to have to sleep 12 plus hours, with 2 or 3 naps to make it through the day.  In between that it was as if I was walking in a fog, pining for when I could get another nap.  I had to be mindful in planing anything, for I needed to rest extra before and after (sometimes for days).  Then, I needed to be flexible if my body just wouldn't cooperate come "planned activity" (this was not easy on my emotions). 

Now I have more good days then bad, or at least it is moving in that direction.  Honestly, in someways it can be more discouraging when I think things are going well and I wake up and it is hard to move for the day or few.  I question and try to run though everything that could possibly have caused it; and I usually end up with just more questions and many hypotheses.  

The flip side to it all, though, is that it makes the sweet all that more sweeter.  I know I'm more thankful and treasure all the things that I get to do now.  The process has been refining me, in huge ways. Exposing and tearing down idols and running to the Lord over and over again for my manna. I don't like to be needy.  But I find that is right where I am all too often and apparently right where I need to be!