The Thanksgiving of 2013

Since we moved into our home that is a bit bigger to actually have guest over, Beach has wanted to do Thanksgiving at our house.  It's been nice and a bit different to be the hosts of our family and something that we both enjoy.  With the long afternoon naps of the girls, we decided to eat afterwards, which made for a nice slow morning (and day).  This was a blessing, as we typically don't take anything slow. 

Breakfast with my monkeys (yes, Zoe now likes to sit in a high chair, as she wants to be doing the same thing as Shiloh).

Lattes and the Macy's Day Parade (why does some of it how to be so inappropriate, sigh).

Making "jelly" with my helper, otherwise known as a fresh cranberry sauce, Zo's favorite.  She had to have many samples along the way!

Lauren came over a bit early and helped me finish the "thankful croissants".  This was a tradition that I started a couple of years ago.

Some of our thanks!

We all sure do love her!

Also, everyone who comes adds to the fun of our Thanksgiving tablecloth, signing their thanks each year.

And then the feast began.

The girls worked on a holiday craft afterwards.

 Zoe was really into it and so focused!

Shiloh enjoys hoodies, even inside, which she calls "hair bows".

And of course her baby cousin!

 
 Beach loves to make cheesecake.  This year it was with a coffee concentrate twist and oh my was it good!  The best yet!

Sisters are the best, much laughing involved, especially at with Lauren.  Check out her attempt for a double chin picture.  Poor skinny neck girl.

Ok, I guess we will just have to get a normal one.

Another year full of things to be thankful for!

Missing my man and finding grace.

Beach went out of town, for a whole weekend.  I was nervous...especially in how things have been pretty rough with the girls lately.  For some moms it would not be a big deal, but he truly does so much to help me with them!  Between some of the nausea coming back and challenging behaviors, it looked like something I was just going to have to endure. I wanted him to go, though, as we sure don't get friend time like we used to and he has always enjoyed going in the past. 

Much grace was given me and it actually went well.   Nice weather meant time outside each day where I raked many leaves!  I've never raked much before moving here, but with all our trees come many pretty leaves to fall.  I actually really enjoy raking and there is something satisfying about the whole process, especially when I can help Beach out with the yard work.  The girls have fun with it too! (BTW - Zoe sticks her jaw out sometimes - like the pic below, making the funniest face...not sure why!)  Zoe actually threw the leaves in her face (before I explained that she needed to throw them more in the air   :-)

Getting some work outside done, inspired me to continue to work and get as much done inside as I could!  I love clearing and cleansing and haven't been able to do a lot of this in months!  I think the nesting was kicking in.

 

I had a couple helpers in making dinner (did I mention I don't cook?).  They even had me "wash" the dishes since our dishwasher broke.  I feel that the Lord just filled my heart with so much peace and joy through our time together. Not what I was expecting - gotta love it when He does that!

After three days, though, we were all ready to see daddy!  He came home pretty wiped from all the fun he had (falling asleep in many places throughout the afternoon/evening).  I asked him to help in getting Zoe to bed and after handling Shiloh, came to find him and Zoe like this.  Melt my heart.  They were both out that not even the flash from my camera woke them.  Zoe has never fallen asleep with one of us in her room and this was such a sweet moment.  I'm am blessed beyond what I deserve!  Glad we get to have daddy home most weekends!

What's in a name?

Choosing a name has always been a big deal for Beach and me.  I feel Biblical there is so much significance in names that were given and I want to impart that heritage on my children as well.  Picking names for our daughters seemed impossible!  There are so many great boy names out there, but I do love the names that they ended up with.

We had picked out a boy name four years ago, in case our first was a boy.  On Beach's side of the family they also pass on family names, which I love.  Beach was named after his great grandfather.  Both the girls have middle names from grandparents.

Ezra (wow that was the first time I have typed/written that - its funny how doing things like that give you that funny feeling) was another of Beach's grandfather's names.  A name I love (z in names are fun) and the man that he was in the bible.  Read how the Good News website explains it:

Profiles of Faith: Ezra - Spiritually Restoring a People

Ezra the priest was a faithful servant of God who helped fulfill God's promises to the remnant of Judah in Babylon in the 400s B.C. His calling was not self-appointed, nor could anyone on his own fulfill the kind of responsibilities to which he was called.

God recognized Ezra as a man of judgment (Ezra 7:25
). He was conscientious (Ezra 9:3
). His principles led him to resolutely oppose sin. He had a profound love of God's Word and devoted himself to studying it and faithfully teaching God's truth (Ezra 7:10
).

Ezra found the spiritual strength he needed through prayer and fasting. He was willing to sacrifice his own needs—and encourage others to do the same—to extol and honor God.

Along the family lines, the first son is to have the mother's maiden name.  So in our case, Hughes.  Sounds manly right?
So the official name: Ezra Hughes Loveland.
We love you already (even if your sister, Zoe, insists that she wants to name you Sally).

On a side note, his first gift!  The day after finding out the results, a sweet member in our community group brought us a present.  Completely unexpected.  Funny how things like this assures my heart of how God will take care of us!

Mom, can you pray and ask Jesus to help you?

Recently there has been a bad combination at our house of a mix between this big momma's hormones and her passionate three-year-olds recent tantrums.  A battle of the strong wills for sure.  It can happen so fast, the switch of emotion in us both and, at times, catches me off guard.  There are a lot of tears and anger, at her, at myself, at the situation we are in. How difficult it is, looking at that little mirror of mine and how it reveals my sinful heart.

I try to give her a lot of freedom, but also give clear boundaries that she so desperately needs.  Lately I have started asking her, in the middle of a struggle that she still will not back down from, if she wants me to pray for Jesus to help her (and I also pray for me!).  She always does.  And He always does.  

She continues to hate for me to be upset and when she is over something (again with just a switch), she is able to quickly move on.  I cannot say the same for myself.  I don't want to pretend that I'm happy afterwards, especially after she has been very defiant.  She will continue to ask if I'm happy and talk about how she wants me to be and how she is now listening (She has been obsessed with my happiness for at least a year now).  Having this question repeatedly thrown at me and repeatedly explained is, also, not so fun.  The other day, after a pretty rough battle, which included me tearing up in public, she asked me to pray for God to help me to be happy.  This often leads to me crying more, holding on to her and doing just that. 

So if you see us and Zoe is sporting a sundress this cold fall (she hates jeans or tight clothing on her legs - dressing for her is a HUGE issue) or Shiloh seems particularly cranky from the lack of sleep she had due to her sister's screams, know that it has been one of those days. And we need your prayers.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

thanks

I hear it all the time, that stay at home moms do not get thanked enough.  While I'm not technically a stay at home mom (but in many ways would like to be), I can relate.  I have the privilege of only going into work three days a week, so that means lots of time at home, and keeping up with the children and house.

However, I must say, Zoe's little heart gets me at times.  She can be so expressive and thankful.  Like when she sees that I have washed one of her favorite shirts, with so much excitement she exclaims, "Oh, Thank You mommy!" and sometimes accompanies it with a dance.  Or after I vacuum her room. Or cut her an apple. Or at another time I'm not expecting.  It's not all the time, but when she is, it means a lot to know that she is so sincere.

Reading One Thousand Gifts has helped me with having more of that perspective (An amazing read that I recommend for everyone!).  I want to have the same excited appreciative heart.  The big things are easy, but the small things?  To be thankful for the many things that Beach does, that is just sort of expected because it is his role or because I need the help.  To be thankful for the days that there is not extra traffic.  For the workers I come across that are doing their work well. For being able to turn on my facet for clean water whenever I need it.  How much of that do I ever pause and say thanks for, much less do a celebration dance.  

I'm learning more about it, this attitude of gratitude, and want so desperately to pass it on to my children. When I'm thankful for what I have,  I tend not to dwell so much on what I don't.  Things are put in more of a proper perspective and my eyes are lifted to the ultimate giver of those gifts!

Octoberness

Somebody reached four months of baby growth at the beginning of the month.  Some people continue to tell me they think I'm having twins. And MANY people like to tell me how much bigger I look this time around.  True, not having the ability to exercise has set some tolls on me.  Time to try to integrate some of that back into my life, since I think I can make it through without throwing up!

So this pic does not do it justice how big I really look.  Still not the best at selfies (plus who wants the camera to really show how "big" you are ;-)

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Irmo has a pretty small but nice farmer's market that Beach finally got to visit one Saturday.  It was a nice way to spend a couple of hours at the park and, of course, Beach saw many people he knew!

With my little twin models, too, we had a couple of people see them and ask about Beach (if he wasn't near by).  How's that for advertising?

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Being outside, art, nature, family, you can't beat it.  We almost missed Unearthed this year, but I noticed the sign upon heading to church one morning. I'm not one for spontaneity (working on it!) but we did manage to squeeze in some time, pushing nap time back a bit.

We even came across a puppet show that the girls manage to sit through the entire time. Captivating.

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Friends and princess, the best.  Zoe just can't wait until her hair grows long enough like her friend Maya.

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When loss puts everything in perspective, nothing is more valuable than family time.

The girls were excited to come across a playground on our bike ride.

Daddy has some pretty good ideas sometimes!

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As I've mentioned, I've done very little in the exercise department since becoming pregnant (prob. the least amount since middle school).  Those first few months really took it out of me!  But I'm happy to squeeze some in again.  I love how Zoe tries to do some yoga moves with me too!

They typically won't sit still for a stroller ride, so this was a nice day that I got a great walk in!  Pushing 60+lbs up our hilly neighborhood is no joke!  (Zoe was not impressed as you can tell and kept asking me why I was sweating and breathing funny.)
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We were blessed to serve our coffee concentrate at a friend's event involving graphic design and the printing press.

 My man is a stud, always, but did shave that night after I told him how much I appreciated him with a different look (he was planning on keeping it and adding on "No shave November").

 They also had some other yummy goodies and it was a great night.

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"Hey, I have a good idea!  Let's make popcorn and watch a MOVIE!!!!" Zoe exclaimed.  I wish I could recreate the excitement in her voice.  Which she has to anything that brings her the slightest joy.  It seems to come out of every pore and make her jump.

So even though we did not have any popcorn kernels, Beach was touched and made sure to go out soon to make her night.  Shiloh always enjoys a great snack!
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One of the greatest anticipated events of this month was the birth of my sister, Danielle's, baby. She watches the girls, so I had no idea what we were going to do for her "maternity leave".  But honestly, I wasn't to stressed about it.  God has always worked things out in the past, and I know he would work this out as well.  Turns out my dad ended up retiring, from the job he has worked at for 34 years, and stepped in to help us during this time!  It would be a challenge for him, but one he has embraced with huge loving arms!

Danielle had gotten a little discouraged after having a good pregnancy and finding the babe was breached right before her due date.  She did all she could to try to turn her but it looks like God had other plans.  Lydia came out perfectly, though!

After Shiloh was born, I wasn't worried too much about Zoe with her, she has such a gentle soul.  Shiloh, though, can be intense. So I watched her closely for her introduction.  She did well, even giving her a gentle kiss before we left.  Another future BFF cousin in the making!
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My sister, Lauren, came to town for the birth but got to squeeze a little time in with us, too.

We all love it and she is willing to do whatever they ask with them.

Soak up the smiles, when times and are hard.  And when crankiness comes, grab some neck sugar, which often turns to giggles!

Thank you, Lauren, for loving your nieces so much and bring them so much joy.
Thank you fall, for being a warm with much time to play!

It's a baby....

In that we are having a home birth, an ultrasound is not a part of the "normal" routine, but was an option with going to the doctor that is connected to our midwife.  He practices in Newberry, a 45 minute drive from the house.  I couldn't stand it, not knowing for another five months!  Finding out when they are in my arms.  How I love the part of pregnancy when I can talk to the baby, call it by name and dream about our new family together.  

Beach wants a boy so badly, especially after the comment I uttered in the midst of my sickness about this having to be the last child.  I think because our girls are so much like me, if he had a boy, he feels that more of him would be living on, including his name.  However, I grew up in a household of three girls.  We have two, my sister has two, I really thought surely this had to be a girl.  Isn't this all we can make?  I really didn't want to see Beach disappointed, though.  So we talked about to accept whatever it was, as it had to be perfect, because it was what God had designed.  Beach really wanted a boy with the first pregnancy, too, and it was hard for him.  But two weeks after Zoe was born, he declared that he was glad that she was a girl and he understand that God gave him what he needed.  

The office was pretty rural and the Dr. himself was to do the ultrasound.  Laying there for over a half an hour on the hard bed with the comfort of paper and staring up at the oh so too bright lights, I began to get nervous.  Where was this feeling coming from?  I hadn't expected it.  Nervous that Beach would be excited about the outcome?  He would be fine he assured me.  Nervous that I really was having twins?  No, that just couldn't be.  I know that I felt huge for five months but surly not twins. So I asked Beach to talk to me, to distract me from these feelings until we could get to the good stuff.

I like the Dr., He's nice and his accent tells me English is not his first language.  And then we got to see our baby for the first time.  It's hard having to wait till now, to fully grasp the "realness" of the situation.  Dr. started talking about the brain and then heart.  I always wondered why they just didn't do the gender first, isn't that the part that people want to know!  The other things really are more important but let's just figure it out!  I saw, though, before he told us.  This baby, this baby had something different.  It was a boy.  Beach got out of his seat to get a closer look and when he knew for sure, he threw his fists in the air.  My body, surprising me yet again, was teary eyed with joy. Happy for Beach and this new challenge. Our baby boy, which our Dr assured us that he knew this 100%.  The only pic he ended up printing (from a machine which had to be over 20 years old) was some of the proof but we got to watch around at our boy for quite some time.

In that my boy likes to move around a lot, the Dr. seemed a bit off guard when the head was in a completely different space and questioned us on if it was another baby.  What!  Wait I thought that would be obvious, so he looked around around and around.  No, no this boy was the only one!  Everything else looked perfect and he was measuring just a day off from my original "due date."  

I honestly don't know what to do with a boy.  I mean I know that they are not that much different in the beginning, but still.  I didn't have brothers, it's a whole new dynamic for me.  We were set on all the girl things and now, have to start over, which seems a bit overwhelming in itself.  Do I get rid of all my little girl clothes?  Are we really done with having kids....no, that I can say for sure.  The Lord will provide for us, as he always has.  He will give me the wisdom needed and nurture our relationship and somehow allow me to love this boy as much as my girls.