Ok....for the record I started this almost a month ago.....working on getting things up sooner!
So creating this other being has changed so many parts of me.
For example, I'm finally going back to teaching at they gym (which means that I can bring Zoe into the childcare there - I couldn't have afforded it otherwise)....Deep breath (why I still get so scared about teaching is beyond me). So I had already talked to them at the childcare placement, which I had heard many good things about, so I thought I was good to go. Drooped her off, she gave me that huge toothless grin and with much assurance from the staff I was off.
I thought I was doing well, until I walked out of the door and a huge wave of emotion came over me. What was this? Why did I feel like bursting into tears, wasn't I just fine a second ago? I had no idea that such feelings were to come over me! Yet another thing in my body/life that has changed....
The same thing happened when I packed up her newborn clothes. It's not like she isn't still tiny but every time I would come to a another outfit that would no longer fit her....the tears began again....alas, needless to say, it was a long packing up process. Completely unexpected!
Is there a way to know when these emotions are to come on? Like a huge warning button that would let me know to be prepared or perhaps it's not the best time to do something. I feel powerless at times. All that I do know is that Zoe is so worth it! This huge emotional roller coaster I've hopped on....I'm hanging on.... so let's go!