My sicky... so many mommy questions?

I hate being sick, but what I realize even more, is I hate when both my daughter and I are sick. It can get really boggling when you feel down for so long. I realized for the whole past half of year I have only really been well 2-3 weeks (between the morning sickness and now the colds). Yeiks....hard to maintain a good attitude through it all. What, Lord, are you trying to teach me through all of this?

So much weighs down on me emotionally, after being worn down physically. Then Zoe has some gunk in her eye...what is that...still not totally sure. Nurse on call says pink eye, that supposed to be super contagious (enough for me to miss work and the fall festival) but then why haven't I, who has a low immune system due to the pregnancy and then also having a bad cold, who gets pocked in the eye and all over my face with Zoe's germy fingers, show no symptoms of such. I should be her breading ground for germs.

I've been learning more about toxins. I've been becoming more of one those women who believe that we need to cut out all processed food and medications, which I never wanted to be. It's hard going against what most people follow, the mainstream info that is out there, "take a pill to fix it", aren't doctor's always right? But now I have this little one to protect and an even littler one inside. Don't I owe it to her to find out more about what I'm giving her? To give her the best care that I can? To not walk into things blindly, just because it seems "normal"?

It's so hard to know what to do. So hard to shift through all the research and information out there. I am thankful that we are starting with a smaller things like her eye issues, instead of something life threatening. So instead of giving her the antibiotic eye drops the nurse called in (for what may not even be pink eye), we went a different route. I changed her diet more, bought some live raw probiotics, put breast milk in her eyes (thanks to a generous friend) and had her adjusted for the first time. This is new for me....and hard...I'm very thankful for the study that I just started on Proverbs and wisdom...as I feel I need it more than ever! Any other moms struggle so much with this?

As a follow up I did have to take her to the doc., as my sitter wouldn't have Zoe unless she was clear....that and I don't think I could miss a whole weeks worth of work for it....so on antibiotics we go (at least this time).

There were no Halloween antics in our house for my sick one (not that I'm a fan of the holiday) but I did throw this little number on (something Beach picked up at a garage sale months ago), briefly, so that she could get a free meal at Moe's that night.

You can see how much she loved it...this was a face she had for most of the week...good thing she didn't wear it for long....and she did not look this distraught in the store...but did love her Moes!

Delayed....MI trip part 2

Finally posted...part II of our trip up North!

So after Thanksgiving comes Christmas....full of a Decorated tree, stockings and presents! My mother-in-law had everything looking so nice (despite it only being October), set up just for us! It made things very special and fun!

I think she liked her Grandma bag!

Zoe got decked out with some new clothes....and loved opening the presents!

Donald had a good time, too!

We, also, got to visit Beach's family.

It was a rare time indeed to have so many cousins together, as they are now in different parts of the country and world!

Beach's own grandmother's house was a fun place for Zoe (and us all)....she had many toys and even some from when Beach was a child!

Zoe enjoyed sitting near me to watch me get her breakfast ready (hence the knife), complete with her new PJs from Grandma.

One morning after breakfast I was working out in the other room. Dad was on Zoe duty and I heard her screaming/crying briefly. Only to later to hear lots of daddy laughter and see this picture.

That's right...after Beach got his flobee haircut from his own dad they decided it would be funny to pretend to give Zoe one, too. She knew, however, that this was a bad idea and nothing should come close to compromising what little hair she had worked her year and a half to grow.

On the last day, with the best weather yet (yes there was even some sun), we headed downtown with Beach's brother, Donald, to check out a pottery shop they love and go to a park. Little did we know that we would be stuck in traffic for hours. Which of course means me singing (which sounded awesome with my horse voice, btw) to Zoe to try to keep her from screaming for quite some time. We finally escaped the traffic by going the wrong way up an exit ramp....yes I was praying much. (We weren't the only ones and the news camera was there to check it out!).

While we did miss much of the warmth and pleasantness of the day we were able to pop by the park before the sun went down. With a huge playground, Zoe was much appreciative!

To end the night, the grands watched Zoe while we went out to eat with Donald at one of his favorite places.

It was a nice time as he was headed off to Asia soon and we are not sure the next time we will get to see each other.

All and all an eventful, exciting trip!

Christmas in Oct....and other MI things

As much as I was looking forward to a break and getting to see Beach's family in MI, my anxiety also began to rise for such an adventure. Zoe's first flight, sleeping in a new place, having to share a room with her, the comforts of home no where to be around....what more did the trip have in store for us.

I prepared as much as I could for the airplane ride, drinks for the ears through straws (thanks mom - somehow the liquid made it through security), new toys from the dollar store, her favorite books and some videos downloaded on Daddy's phone. Tried to plan everything as much as I could, what I didn't expect was that her nap before the plane ride would only last about 20 minutes (instead of her normal three hours), so this tired kid was extra wound by the time we got on the plane. Up and down and all around, waving her little hand in the face of the people behind us (okay perhaps she did get something from Beach - his outgoing nature).

I was so ready once we got off the flight (even more ready on the ride home!). For some reason at the MI airport, Zoe saw something that reminded her of her favorite South Carolina team and she kept yelling, "Cock!" I would try to say behind her that I didn't see any GAMEcocks around (knowing that this MI crowd may not be as familiar with our mascot).

She loved walking the terminal, which had to be well over a mile and seeing Grandpa again was a hit. So was the next day (despite the cold temps), heading to the apple orchard, complete with playground was awesome!

This is the beginning of the week where she let anyone but me hold her still.

Cool slide with daddy and grandpa...mommy sat out on this one!

What a great idea....a barn full of corn kernels for the kids to play with...that is until all the dust flew around!

Of course much pumpkins....including my cutest of them all!

Make that two cutest of them all!

Hot apple cider and pumpkin donuts...what a treat! (I may or may not have only let her hold this for the picture :-)

I'm this tall....how fun to go back in later years for another shot from here!

More on the MI adventure to come....

A year and a half!

How can it feel like just a short time ago yet also feel years away and that you have always been in our lives. We made it to the 18 month point, and boy did we. Some of the most stretching, loving, caring, hormonal, challenging, wonderful times of my life.

I prepared so much for my pregnancy caring you and having the best birth that I could, that when you came along I realized that I hadn't prepared as well for you being in our world. Well, that and only living in our new house under a week added to some stressful times. After those first couple of months of crying and screaming (from the both of us it seemed) we finally figured out your dairy allergy, and mommy had such banned from her diet. Once your tummy settled, so did our life a lot more.

With each new stage your brought more and more enjoyment into our lives. I have so loved seeing you grow and develop. How fun the upcoming years will be as you continue to build on such.

I love that your picking up on so many new words lately. Especially finally hearing you say Momma. That has been a long time coming. Perhaps, because I did not recite it so much, as I did most other things. But to hear you squeal my name from the other room and come running to find me with that big grin on your face....melts my heart.

That passion does not fail when your upset, either. It can be hard to communicate and not get what you want, so there have been many times of you screaming and "throwing out." However, consistency is going to be key with you little lady...so as hard as it is, we will keep pressing through and hope those times get smaller in between.

As the next year and a half will bring much more challenges, love and growth...I'm so looking forward to having you in my life to do so!