Monday, December 12, 2011


We live in a country that is full of the feeling of entitlement (or perhaps it's just our fallen nature in general)....."I deserve this!" "It's my right!" "I've worked so hard!" I know I struggle with this concept a lot. Feeling frustrated when at work, yet again, we do not get a Christmas bonus, and what we did have to celebrate taking more from us or when I feel that I should be treated a certain way, perhaps because I'm pregnant or have worked so hard at something. The list really could go on! Hummmmm.....I'm seeing a lot of "I"s here.
So during this time of year, focusing on what truly matters in Christmas, my thoughts have turned a lot to Mary and Jesus. What it must have been like to be caring the Lord of the universe in your womb? What she wondered, thought and feared? Knowing that I've been thinking a lot about my own pregnancy and birthing options it has brought my thoughts to hers.

Then I thought about Jesus' birth, in a smelly stable, with animals, in a strange city (not so much the beautiful nativity scenes we celebrate but more of what it really was like). I'm thinking this was not a relaxed comfortable labor for the mother of God. I'm sure if I was in her place my thought process would go something like this, "Lord, don't you think I, the one caring the creator, should have an amazing place to give birth? or Why couldn't you have waited until we got back home, where I would be more supported by friends, family and a midwife? Why, at least, couldn't you have saved a room in some inn for are can do all things! Don't I deserve this (I mean you did pick me to be his mother), I mean doesn't Jesus deserve this at least?"

I suppose this just reveals more of my sinful nature and how much I need Him in order to understand His perspective, His timing and doing things for His glory....not so much how I think things should be done and MY entitlements. May I remember this in giving birth, as well as around Christmas time when we look to celebrate His birth and throughout the year as more of these feelings arise!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you Jessica, what a blessing to read both of your latest entries. So honest and transparent. It is the struggle of man, the balance of walking by faith and striving to live outside of the "I" everyday. It is also something I have to be reminded of often. I love you - you are a joy to me. PS. I love the photo of Shiloh. I think I need a copy.