Sunday, October 13, 2013


Broken.  I have been thinking about this word all too much this weekend.  It started on Friday morning when, during breakfast, I was reading some of the Jesus Storybook Bible to the girls.  We were discussing about Adam and Eve and the fall when the story addressed how the whole earth and everything in it was broken. So we talked about it, brokenness, on a three-year-old level.
Zoe looked out the back window and asked if everything outside would break, and when I tried to explain that it would, her sensitive heart tore into this utter despair and tears began falling.  I wasn't expecting that.  I wanted to say, "no it was fine, it was all good, you are completely safe," but my own too knowing heart couldn't.  Even at her young age, I don't want this western world haze to gloss completely over the fact that our world is hard, it is broken, you don't know when and what things will change. Even if it meant having the long drawn out conversations.  She needs to know of her need of the Savior.

We set off in the car for a play date that morning and, of course, her mind kept going and she kept questioning.  We talked about how Heaven was not broken and amazing.  How her GG lived there.  How if you loved Jesus you would be there one day, with no more sadness.  She repeatedly talked about how she wanted to go there, how she wanted to go now.  The momma tears flowed, despite me wanting to dam them up while driving, at the thought of losing her now.  I wanted (and continue to want) to tell myself that no, this will not happen, we are fine, it's all good, you are completely safe with me, but my own too knowing heart couldn't.  There are no guarantees.  This life (and hers) is a vapor and there is nothing I can do to change when she will be called to the loving arms of Jesus that she loves so much.
A reminder in my own Bible study that day, talking about the brokenness but about how Jesus is with us.  John 16:33 reads:
 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
We will have trouble.  He knows it and warns us.  But more than that we have Him, to be with us, to comfort, to heal.  No matter what the brokenness looks like.

Then the sad news hit like a ton a bricks that night.  A young amazing leader in our church died suddenly while playing ultimate Frisbee.  No warnings, just stepped into eternity.  No doubt he is with the Lord that he loves so much.  But he left behind a wife and three boys under five (one of which was adopted from Africa).  She is around my age, a widow, completely unexpected.  My heart cannot wrap around the fact that these boys will not have an earthly father.  I think of my girls, how they just wouldn't understand why daddy was not around anymore.  How painful it would be to have to tell them over and over again where he was. How my own heart would ache from a love loss without getting to say goodbye.  Tears could not be stopped from Beach and I all weekend.  Things break, we see it coming sometimes, sometimes we may even be able to fix things, but we can't stop it. But we have a hope and a Savior, who has overcome the world who is bigger than anything we may face.

May I rest in that.  May I pray for this hope for this hurting family. May I be able to stress it to my children through the years. As much as I want to tell them everything will be fine, it may not be at times, BUT God, He is with us and has overcome.

PS - If you would like to show support for the grieving family of Carla and her sons (Charlie, Israel, and Meyer), consider making a donation to the Gerlach Memorial Fund.  You can click here to donate online and just note it is for the Gerlach Memorial Fund.


  1. Thank you Jessica for this powerful reminder of how life is just a vapor compared to eternity. May we all live each day to the fullest, as a gift from God and be thankful for his wonderful grace and love, knowing whatever the day may bring that He will always be with us holding us in his grip.

  2. It is all to real how quickly things can happen and totally change your life. But because we do have the love of Jesus with us always we can enjoy the days that he has set upon us. It is so hard to think about this fallen broken world and how it seems to continue to get worse and to know this is what our children have to look forward to...but I believe that God is here, and he knows! He loves them and will watch each step!!