Friday, June 19, 2015

Hospital Sleepover

I felt the prayers, all the prayers lifted up by so many that it carried me through. And carried me through without much anxiety (due to the Lord's hand on me for sure).  The day finally came to have Zoe's cyst removed from her next.  Honestly the day before, after talking to the hospital and learning we had to be there at 7 am the next morning, part of me wanted to back out, was I doing the right thing for our daughter?  After some reassurance from Beach, and extra support, I knew we were to press onward.
That morning our chiropractic met us at the hospital bright and early downtown before we went in to make sure that Zoe was in line and her power turned on. Dr. Sarah is such a comforting presence in our lives and makes this momma's heart feel so blessed, especially after she prayed over Zoe.  The Chaplin at the hospital, who also goes to our church, was there to meet us as well!  A wonderful surprise.
Zoe was so tired from the early morning was going to be a long day!
She adorned her new outfit without much of a fuss.  (A big deal for this only dress wearing fan.)
And fortunately they brought out some toys that she enjoyed playing with as she waited.  Pretty soon they whisked her away, several people leading my heart into another room, and she was so brave!
The surgery itself took longer than expected.  When they called me back, the doctor explained that they had to cut out a piece of her bone, and it would have to drain that day.  Thus, we would need to spend the night to monitor it and remove it the following day (fortunately we had a bag packed in case we would need to stay).   
When I saw her weak body after the surgery, I almost lost it then, but sucked it up knowing that it would scare her all the more.  Pretty soon I was plopped down in a chair with pillows thrown under my arms and my daughter placed there.  That's when she lost it.  I think there is something comforting knowing that it's safe to let your guard down, even at such a young age.  Those tears of fear and pain came quickly.
We waited in that position for quite some time.  They handed her a popsicle, I'm not totally sure why - other than to try to make her happy, but in that she hadn't eaten anything yet that day and I was struggling, she accepted it dripping all over herself and me.  After some time they explained that the beds were full and we would have to wait for an open room.  We were currently in a holding area with many other children and mommas right after surgery.  "How long would that take?  Hours?"  Could we stayed there in the busy space.  Zoe hated all the bandages on her neck, IV, hands and legs, and kept pleading to take them off.  They finally allowed Beach to come back (he wasn't really supposed to, but in that we weren't able to go anywhere, they allowed him too).
They did eventually move us to another floor to wait in a more private area, which was nice.  Zoe had more ice cream, as they had nothing else for her, but which she took, attempting to feed herself with her right hand.  We took turns holding her, so I could get a bathroom break.  We were eventually moved into her room where she would stay the night.
After a few hours she briefly examined the items in the playroom.  Not cracking a smile once and moving so stiffly.  I'm so glad that she is old enough to understand the importance of her bandages or I know that she would have tried to rip them off, she was so frustrated with them.
I was so thankful that my dad brought us some dinner and Ezra (for me to attempt to nurse).  We also had a friend come by from church which was a nice distraction!  Also, so thankful that Mom let us borrow her iPad...having multiple choices of her shows doesn't usually it was a good way for her to pass time without focusing on the pain and how uncomfortable she was.
She would not lay down, staring at the clock during the time I attempted to get her to take a nap....and finally, finally fell asleep around 10pm that night, in a semi-sitting position.  I wasn't sure if it really hurt when she would lay down (as I couldn't see why) or if subconsciously she was scared of anything happening to her again.  After a couple of more times going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, dragging all the equipment in with us, she was awoken again at 6am for good to check her vitals.  Sigh...I'm not sure why they have to repeatedly do so over and over again throughout the night.  
Thankfully the doctor came in around 7am and removed the drain from her next, bringing a lot more tears.  A couple more hours and we were discharged, removal of the IV, more tears and then she wanted to do a lap around the floor on the bike before she left.  This brought her some joy the day before.  As I followed her cute self, I was filled with relief that we would get to go home (where my aching body was longing to nurse my son), and I also had a heavy heart for the many rooms that we passed, knowing that behind the doors hurting mommas and daddies may not be so fortunate.  I KNOW that Zoe's surgery was not major, although it was a hardship for us, there are so many that battle different health issues daily.   
Zoe wanted to get a smoothie from her daddy on the way home.  I was thankful that she could finally have something healthy (quality protein, almond milk, banana); it was a no-brainer.  Her request....this exact picture to send to daddy as a surprise....she is feeling more like her old self!!!  Hopefully this will all be behind us soon - with quick healing and a good biopsy! 

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