Being present. A constant struggle and something I'm working on. I do it so much when I'm at work its like my body wants a break or something when I get home. So I have to remind myself about it often, as I feel that there have been so many missed moments with my family (and even myself for that matter).
The Hands Free Mama blog is an awesome way that brings me back in and she recently had an entry about doing a
heart check. I have been implementing it with Zoe lately each night (after our ritual of rocking, singing, praying and talking), to put my ear up to her little chest and to pause and reflect. This little life that I have been given the humongous blessing of being able to nurture and grow. This, this little life that I one day will not be able to listen to the way that I do now. That one day will need her space. This little life that so fragile. That heart beats so strong and quick.
Zoe will listen to my heart as well. Just sit there for a few moments, focusing on this new sound. When she sits up, she asks if it has turned off. I try to explain to her, not yet. I want to promise her that it won't be for a very long long time. I want to, but I can't, for it is not my promise to make. It reminds me of the finiteness of life. How we can't take things for granted. How no matter how tightly we hold on to something, it can never be tight enough to keep it. It often brings tears to my eyes, my little ones heart beat. The junk and lists of the day fade and her breath is all that matters.
I love them and I am blessed. May I remember to slow down, to listen, to hear, to connect, to love in this moment, while I have it and not look back and wish I had.
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