Thursday, November 12, 2015

My Step Work (sometimes baby steps)

Hi, I'm Jessica and I'm a controlaholic.  What... that's a thing?  Apparently that is my thing.  While I always knew that, yes, I like to have things go my way (don't most people), to the extent that this permeated my life and emotions I had no clue until recently.

It began with being asked to help with a 12 step group.  Well, OK, but I don't have an addiction, so I felt that perhaps I would be out of place, but I would love to help and support as I could.  Then I started going through our book.....and bam!  
Written by a Christian that seemed to be reading my mind and coming from a place where I found myself all to often.  I was definitely not out of place but right in the middle of things, mainly with the Lord opening my eyes to my heart and the sin disease I keep trying to run from and repress (instead of surrender)!  It is hard, very hard looking at your junk that has been hidden for quite some time (and involved so many tears and fears), yet so so very liberating in allowing Christ to do the healing that I did not even know I needed so desperately!  
I loved the book so much that I picked up another book that I'm in process of working through to dive even deeper into the subject.  I'm so very thankful for these words and to be humbled in this manner in order to become more free.  I know this will have major impacts on my marriage and relationship with my children in the years to come (as well as others along the way).  If your interested in knowing more please feel free to ask!

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