Saturday, January 25, 2014


I hate the word...more of I hate what is behind it, for myself (more on that here), for those I love and those that I counsel.  It's not something that is easily explained if it's something you have never struggled with.  
It's even harder to explain to someone who thinks they understand it.  I was told once by a mother whose son struggled with depression that she experienced it, too, at times.  She explained how when she was "depressed" would cry and talk to her spouse, get over it, and then not struggle with it again for a few months.  She was totally serious.  And I was shocked.  And hurt for the son, as to the little understanding he would really get from his mother.  Not that she meant anything negative from it, she just didn't have a clue.
I have heard many Christians say, too, that if you are really a believer then how could you struggle with depression. The hope we have in our Savior is amazing.  Life changing. Awesome. But that may not change the fact that my hormones are out of whack.  That life presents some really hard things at times.  That there is a spiritual battle going on and it is a hard fight - and one that seems even harder if you are "just not doing the right things" to get over it.

How do you explain the pain of the feeling of pointlessness, meaninglessness, even though you may know that in reality it is not true, but every cell within you screams otherwise. How you don't really want to feel that you are falling into a dark pit, it's not something you are just choosing to do.  To sob uncontrollably at things that you know are not "cry worthy".  To not understand why some days are okay and other days are such a struggle to not climb back into bed.
I am thankful that I have the support of my family, even when they don't understand.  Besides the Lord, they are what has kept me alive and thriving (most days) to this point.  Not everyone is so fortunate.  I try to use my experiences with depression to be more understanding of other's experiences that I may not understand, as there is so much hurt out there.  What about you?  How has your life been affected?

1 comment:

  1. You have been such an example to me of perseverance, and how God uses everything in our lives.