1st Day Heartache

The day I had been dreading for months finally reared its ugly head. I know not all parents have the same reaction, but mine was a sharp painful shooting feeling in my chest.  The heaviness that would not go away.  The emotions that I had been processing for MONTHS leading up to this day.  My last little one was off to school.  Kindergarten.  The right of passage that came leaving my house quiet and my sidekicks gone.  It's been 10 years that I have had the privilege to be a momma.  My life turned upside down in the most hard, good, and challenging ways.

Having my little Ezra home with just me for the past 2-years has been such a gift to my soul.  I've struggled a lot with my health over that time and he has been so patient and loving towards me, giving me hope and grace more than I deserve.  My little helper, always eager to jump in with whatever I'm doing, whether laundry or making breakfast, he is so compliant.  Full of joy and excitement that, selfishly, I never wanted him to leave.  Of course, I knew better.  Knew he needed more, more than I could give at this time by way of school, and this phase of my life would come to a bittersweet end.

Thankfully, I have so much faith in the school that he would be joining his sisters at.  They have Hive Homecoming before school starts, which is a highly anticipated event in this house.  The high school cheerleaders gave an exciting entrance.

 The same Kindergarten teacher and amazing assistant who loved on my girls (and additionally was teacher of the year last year - she is fabulous) would also care for this last chunk of my heart.  We were thankful that this is the case and puts a little more ease in my step.

For fun comparison sake I included Zoe's picture from 4 years ago...

and Shiloh's from 2 years ago.

The girls' teachers were new for us this year, and I was thankful to get to meet them and check out their classroom.

 

Mascot sighting photo opt...

One last go through the cheerleaders as we left (2 hours later...whooo so many people to catch up with).

 
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The day before school started my body was WRECKED and struggling so desperately, which was really discouraging to me.  I just focused on getting all our details done in-between all the resting that I needed.  However, I had so wanted to do one last special summer thing with the kids.  So the whole family did go out to eat that night, something that is rare for the kids.

 
 Then they had their special little things from their teachers to help with the night before jitters in bed.

 
(I may have cried myself to sleep...looks like this momma needed some help as well.)
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When the big day came, all the kids were excited, with a little bit of nerves thrown in for good mess sure.  Beach stayed home that morning to help get our loves off to school.

Making them a breakfast and getting all the little details together.

We also try to include teacher coffee gifts...a boost of needed caffeine for sure!

4th, 2nd, and Kindergarten and my heart and head still have a hard time wrapping around it all.

 
 Zoe wanted to walk herself to class, and I had to let go of my need to take her there.  Shiloh and Ezra were still on board for such, though.  I was thankful to have Beach along there with me, and to make it to the car before the tears started to flow.

 
 Love that a couple of the teachers sent me a first day of school picture.

My sweet little bees that I am so proud of and love so dearly! Letting them go even more is such a struggle but so thankful that I KNOW they are in the Lord's hands.  He will take care of them and be with them when I can't be!  

They convinced me to hit up Loveland Coffee for an after first day treat!  Bring on the smiles for a great new year!