This book. This book. It has challenged me and opened me up so much. Each chapter more and more. I feel blessed even getting the book, as I won it from the blog, Called for Such a Time. God knew. Knew that I would never buy it myself, knew that I would never take the time to read it (as a huge part of me screams you don't have time to read!!). But the more I did read, the more I realized different areas of my faulty thinking and the easier it became to carve out the time I needed to take care of myself.
Something that has hit me in the face recently is on the concept of work and sabbath. I'm a worker, a do harder, work longer, push more kind of girl. A Martha to the core. It's a love/hate thing I have about myself. Perhaps something I pride in yet something I know can be a huge stumbling block (isn't all things we pride in that way anyway?).
So when I read how the author, Geri Scazzero, has learned to take a Sabbath (in the form of one day a week, one week a year and for 3-4 months every seven years) I was taken aback. Then I was excited that she was able to do that (and slightly jealous of her - because of course I could never do such thing....I had to work hard). Yet then it struck me, that's what the Lord wanted for me, for his people, as well. What???!!?? No, that cannot be right, that would cut all my work down by at least 14% and we are just barely hanging on....so surely that could not be correct. I mean we own our own business...so we only make money if we work and it's not like we have much to spare.
But, yes, God spoke to my soul and let me know that He does want that for me. Tears. And somehow I realized that I had not felt worthy. Not worthy for a break. Then a flood of His love came over me, more than I can explain. I realized this is, also, tied in my faulty belief of having to work for my salvation (somehow as much as I know this is not true, I pick it back up again). And a true excitement, for upcoming REST and REJUVENATION! That He wants and created this for me. Honoring the Sabbath was not just another rule to follow but a blessing, an amazing gift. It still blows my mind. (I'm still not at the point I can accept the longer break BUT we are talking about how we make make the weekly Sabbath a reality in our home).
I also realized how much Beach needs this as well....and how my demands on myself have leaked over to him where he no longer allows this for himself. Having the coffee business makes this very hard, there is always more to do. I know different now and I couldn't be more excited! He will provide all that we NEED and we are invited to rest in His provision. What a relief, what grace and mercy! Thank you Lord!