Do you think about death much? I don't...or at least I try not too. The thought of losing one of my children, my Beach or other family sinks my heart, so low. I, also, hate to leave my family early, my amazing loving husband a widower and my children without a mother. It's almost too much much for me to process....at least without breaking me down into tears. However, when a close college friend of mine found this to be her fate this week....it needs to be looked at...square in the face.
But what I've come to understand more deeply recently is that there is not a early departure, not when you're trusting in a sovereign Lord! He tells us that our lives are but a vapor (James 4:14). When we are younger, we tend not to put a lot of weight in that. We are, after all, invincible.....but time goes on....and more of a reality sinks in along with some pain and loss.
Through a recent teaching I have better grasped how we are on mission...and that mission has a beginning and an end, all designed by the Lord. Nothing surprises him, takes him off guard....shocks him, the way that we are shocked. No, it's been planned before the beginning of time. We just need to live that mission.
What has hit me the hardest lately is death for the lost, those that have no idea that they are lost and those that think they aren't when in fact that is just the case. For those that love the Lord and follow him (note I did not say Christian, as I believe that term has been so misconstrued in our culture. Which has resulted in so much misconception of TRUTH.) death is nothing to be feared but to be celebrated, as life with Him, without the pain, suffering and evil of this world will be AMAZING. Part of me can't wait, for this world really is not our home. However, for those that were left behind that were close to the believer...this is the most difficult part. There is morning and loss, true, deep loss that cannot be completely healed this side of heaven.
What is not consolable, though, is the loss of one that is not secure in the Lord....for there is no comfort. As hard as this life can be.....nothing, nothing can compare to being away from the Lord, in the darkness of hell. I have no doubt this is the end result for ETERNITY, no second chances, just, "I wish..." I've tried to imagine how that would be for me....for my children....for those I can about....and those that I just see randomly, if they were not secure. And it breaks me. And I need to be broken. I need to be more burdened, more hurt, more pained to understand their true fate....to not worry about my comfort, my to-do list, my goals for the day. For isn't the soul in front of me more important? It should be, but I confess that I don't act that way most of the time.
Today, I rejoice in the amazing life that I got to be apart of and know with a deep friendship in college. Full of joy, laughter, fun and most of all the love of Christ shining in her. For we do not grieve as those with no hope (1 Thes 4:13). Although, my heart is still so very heavy, especially for her family. So for Cherith McCrum, who's rejoicing in the new life that she is living, may I share His love so that others may join us in our forever home one day! For I know that was what she would have wanted, as is my wish when I am called home as well! Until we meet again my dear sweet friend and sister in Christ.