Have you heard that praise song from All Sons & Daughters that is all over, including in my head and soul, running it's way around seemingly on repeat, "It's YOUR breath in our lungs... So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise. Great are you Lord." It's more than just a catchy tune but one that speaks to the darkest parts of me.
The breathe, how important, how often I tell myself to take a deep breathe, deep into my belly, to slow down, to calm down, to be. To be more present and here. And it is so true, it is His breathe that fills my lungs each and every time, whether I take the time to acknowledge it or not.
What a reminder this month when my middle, who always shakes her sickness and has never had to go to the doctor, caught something quick and into her lungs it went. Her cough sounded like a deep dog bark, as she struggled to find air through her throat. This momma's heart was scared and didn't know if an ER run on a Sunday night was warranted. There was little comfort in my doctor letting me know of an app that allows you to check your oxygen levels through your phone. How crazy is that really! Thankfully she seemed to be getting enough and, although it was a rough rough night, we made it through and were at the doctor's office the next day to find that she had tonsillitis, which can cause her tonsils to swell, making it difficult to breathe. A reminder of our vapor selves that can change so quickly.
This past week on the beautiful day of my sister's wedding my grandfather, the last of my grandparents, took his last breathe at the age of 95 (we had fortunately been able to visit this past summer). We rejoice that we know that he is now reunited with his bride and with our Father in heaven. There is deep ache, though, in that he was the last of that generation of our family. There will be no more grandparent's homes to go to and treasure all the memories they contained. Suddenly life seems even shorter knowing my parents now are the ones to take over that role.
All the while my heart breaks even more for my aunt who has had to battle breast cancer for years. With young adult children, and an adoring husband, it feels to soon, way to soon. The battle to breathe has been fierce and difficult the past couple of weeks and they have called hospice care into the home. I can't compute how our creator is ready to call her home. I can't understand the pain her immediate family is enduring as they wait by her side, watching her struggle for her breathe, knowing what is to come yet wishing and praying for it to never arrive. I can't fathom, but I can pray, even praying through countless tears, for Great are you Lord.
May we honor those that go before us in being constantly aware that each breathe that He fills in our lungs is a gift for the present and one that we need to turn to praise for Him. Deep breathe!