One of my biggest struggles lately is feeling guilty, all the time, with not doing the right thing. While reading this great book, Dance, Stand, Run, Jess Conley was able to put it into words so well. (Side note, get this book - it's great! Or borrow mine!)
"What makes "should" so complicated is that it's always attached to someone else's expectation, someone else's opinion, and if you don't happen to agree or if you fail to meet that expectation, that "should" quickly leads you into shame. In fact, "should" is too often just another way of saying, "Shame on you."
While I know I must "should" other people the one that I hit the hardest, by far, is myself. By the time I go to bed at night, I'm constantly thinking of all the things I should have done that day. It doesn't seem to make a difference that there is not enough time in the day to do them all, that I may not physically or emotionally be able to do them, or that some of them even contradict each other, they just leave me with a knot in my heart it seems.
You should be more present with your kids!
You should have more fun with your kids and not be so serious!
You should get more "work" done!
You should be a more supportive wife!
You should loose some weight!
You should keep the house cleaner!
You should workout more!
You should have your kids more involved with actives they love!
You should be more intentional with others!
You should plan more play dates!
You should pray more!
You should not care about what other people think!
You should not allow your kids to eat much sugar or junk (you know that it causes inflammation and you don't want them to have to deal with what you are when they get older)!
You should not be so uptight about food!
You should spend more time one on one with your kids!
You should be working on school information during the summer with your children (you know about summer slide)!
You should embrace more no school and let your kids be kids!
You should snuggle more with your kids!
You should not waste so much time!
You should not be anxious but just seek Him more!
You should ...well you get the picture by now....
However, what I find interesting is that recently my mind has wondered to the amazing people that I know, and how they point to the savior (thinking through the Surprise Superlatives), and less about me (which is fantastic)! I love how Jess Conley brings it back to what matters:
"What we must do as sinners in a broken world (because there' no other option), under the authority of God our Father, is keep on needing Him. We must profess that Jesus Christ is Lord and rearrange our lives to uphold this profession. That's it. The million, swirling "shoulds" out there get complicated and make us think we have to get them all right. We don't- we only need to concern ourselves with the one aim. He does the rest of the heavy lifting, by grace through faith. So let's rewrite those original sentences in a gospel-centered light, with the word "should" thrown far away."
Amen and Amen....each day, Lord help me to throw away the "shoulds" and daily DAILY seek your face for what you will have for me!
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