And so it begins....one month down

This has been a crazy month...full of ups and downs... now that we are a family of four!

Shiloh is finally here.
What's in a name?  Choosing such has always been important to me, as I feel it is bestowing something on a child, they will have no other label as long.  I love biblical names, but there are few to chose from in the female department.  I felt that Shiloh (a city in Israel - the capital before Jerusalem) could go both ways.  It is of Hebrew origin, meaning "His gift" (and that she is!) and "peace" (that which I hope she will indwell).

Zoe's name is Greek meaning abundant life, and boy is she!  However, I joke and say that our house could now use some peace, so Shiloh bring it on!

All I could think about the first couple of weeks after Shiloh was born was that I have a normal baby!!!  I had a lot of anxious anticipation about her entrance into this world, as Zoe's first few weeks of life were so hard on me (and her).  Weighed down by postpartum depression and a newborn that cried non-stop from constant pain (that the Dr. just labeled colic), I was plagued by the guilt I carried for no longer wanting to be a mother (something that I had always longed for and I wanted so deeply).  Fortunately, we found out that Zoe was allergic to milk, and that made a huge difference for her when I cut dairy out of my diet, and the feelings and my bond towards her began to change.

So the thought of going through the depression, sleeplessness, high anxiety and crying was something I was not looking forward to....but Shiloh is different.  Thank the Lord for his grace for being able to balance and adjust to having two children.  Also so thankful that Beach and my mom were able to take off a couple of days of work to help me get through that first week!

How sweet is my man!  Bringing me breakfast in bed our first week back!

I have the best bed buddy!

A calm baby...but things have been a little different the past week as Shiloh has become more cranky...I'm beginning to wonder about the dairy being an issue for her as well!

The other issue may be something I have pushed out of my mind, trying not to fear the worst and hope for the best.  The blood test that they sent from the hospital after Shiloh was born was not done correctly, so we had to do them again.  Poor thing, it does not look fun and it took awhile to get all that blood....but we made it through.  Only to be called two weeks later saying that we needed to do again.  AGAIN?  For a third time?  But why?  There had been an abnormality in her blood and they needed to see if it showed up again.  The nurse couldn't really explain anything more to me than that.  My first thoughts went crazy and all over the place, to the darkest of a deadly disease....NO!  I pushed it away, I had no idea what it was so I did not need to let my mind wonder that way. 

We all scrambled to make it back to the doctor that day, as they wanted to do it right away.  Zoe wasn't to crazy, thank goodness and not to many tears shed for Shiloh....so we wait....another two weeks before we get the results. 

Zoe is slowly adjusting.  It was really rough, at first, as she would scream and cry when I would nurse her sister.  She just didn't understand why I had to hold her so much and why I couldn't pick her up (I completely forgot how I was not allowed to lift anything as heavy as she was- very difficult for the both of us).  When she first came home and saw me nursing, she thought Shiloh was biting me and she was pretty upset.  However, when I was done, she climbed in my lap, tired to lift my shirt and "bite" me, too.

However, she enjoys holding her little baby sister and giving her kisses on the head (especially when I'm not holding her).  I love these series of pictures from our first day home from the hospital!

Zoe has to oversee bath time as well....of corse....will be awhile until they are able to bathe together!

Cousin time!!!  So glad theses girls get to see each other at least once a week...looking forward to watching them grown together!

Shiloh (and Beach and I) love the Moby wrap.  It has allowed me to take a walk with two kids, visit the zoo, and work around the house. How someone is able to sleep in such position is beyond me!

I love seeing Beach with his new daughter.  Love just seems to flow from him and came immediately from the start!

Beach and his diaper cake from his surprise shower at his work.  Very useful and pretty!

Getting to meet Aunt Lauren for the first time!

So much of this month has involved feeding...oh and thinking about Zoe's upcoming birthday party...and cleaning for Beach's parents to come (and wishing I didn't have the need for these things to be perfect).  Fortunately Shiloh's a great eater....gained a pound in those first couple of weeks, where the goal is usually to make it back to your birth weight...she fits right in with the family.

 I try to suck in every moment...wanting to cherish how amazing this time is and thankful that I get be blessed with another precious gift from my Father!